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| So I see Xanga going the way of the spam list with messages and suscribers who I know nothing about. Oh well, I'll still blog here anyways since I only write something about once every six months or so (and interesting things only once every two years).
I don't know whether it was the stress of the last two weeks or the fact deals on all of my preferred hardware ending on that Sunday but I spent roughly a thousand dollars at memory express on new computer components - a new case, hard drive, ram, motherboard, processor, expensive processor fan, DVD drive, and operating system (since blank hard drives, while empty, don't run PCs very well). This was to be combined with my current unit's power supply (I had an old one ready to fill in), video card (same deal) and sound card (no dice on a spare, but it's not like I'd ever use it to listen to something) to create a new PC, ideally to last me a fairly long time. My old PC was bought new as a graduation gift, and while it has (and hopefully will continue to) served me well, its age was showing with slowdowns, crashes, and the fact it's louder then our vacuum cleaner. It had always been loud but the wear and tear only intensified it.
If you want pictures, go see Dave's facebook. He's outlined it in picture form, now here I am to provide the story that managed to stretch on over two days.
I brought it all in to the dining room as Mom and Dad looked on in some form of amazement that I was going to attempt this. After quickly going downstairs to ask Dave if he wanted to take pictures and help with the effort (to which he answered "yesyesyesyes"), I headed back up as Dad helpfully converted the dining room table into a de facto work area for me.I did some preliminary work before lunch, and then began the effort in earnest after lunch. I thought I had an idea of what I was getting in to, but it turned out, as with all great projects, I didn't.
The first hurdle came when I was putting the fan on the processor. It is a very big unit, and I was rather puzzled as to what was holding it on, since it didn't come with any kind of a bracket or something to hold it on.
Dave quickly googled it and found out that it was supposed to, so I headed back to memory express, who also called to let me know that when they had opened the motherboard box so I could check the pins, they'd forgotten to put the cables back in. What's funny is when I was checking the pins before I really had no clue what to look for, but now I do.
So I went back, got the cables, swapped in my fan for another one with all of the required components, and headed home. Due to extensive lineups this took about an hour and a half.
So in went the processor, with fan attached, and the day continued.
After some deliberate following and refollowing of the instructions, by about 4:30 I was ready to try powering it on. With my monitor, keyboard, and mouse plugged in, I hit the power button and...nothing happened.
Well, almost nothing. The green light on the motherboard came on. But that was about it.
I was a bit shocked, but not entirely surprised. "Remember, I've never done this before, so it could be a million things I could be missing." That was the content of my talking with David. However, I could not find the issue by supper, where I was graciously left to my own devices, dirt covered scraped hands and all. Yes, computer components are very sharp.
I continued experimenting and reading/rereading manuals in the evening, but I gave up around 9:30 since my brain had turned to mush. I was a little disapointed, but not frustrated.
On Monday, I took everything out and rebuilt it again after I had gotten up and showered (which was about 11 or 12). Again, I hook everything in, power it up, and...nothing.
Huh. My family's intial optimism and confidence was starting to wane, but I was still determined, with Dave helping an amazing amount give the success we were having. By about late afternoon, I decided that, one way or another, I was going to have *a* working PC before the night ended. So I put my other machine on the table, and installed the old video card and power supply, and turned it on. Nothing.
Well, crap. I've taken enough working components to have two machines working and I have zero. Good day, so far.
By the evening, I'm getting flustered, and I give Peter (who will be getting props at the end of this post) a call to see what the earliest time is I can get him in on it. I start to think I went too quickly, and should have had him in on this all along. Here's a little secret.
As much of a PC "expert" some people think I am, Pete can run rings about me. I can get things working, but I can't always tell you why, and I'm not much of a troubleshooter. Pete had several helpful suggestions and offered several times we could get together quickly. We exchanged several helpful messages and he managed to calm me down a bit.
Tuesday came, and I got up with more gumption. I started to rebuild everything *again*, but by the afternoon it's clear I'm out of ideas. So I power on my Dad's PC and start googling about the troubles I'm having, which seem to be power related.
My attention goes back to my old PC, and I realize why it's not turned on - "right, I forgot to hit the switch on the case as well." It was then I had the moment.
I don't know whether the facepalm to end all facepalms has occured yet, but I'll be surprised if I ever have a facepalm to beat this one. I'd like to hear if *anyone* has one to beat this one, to be honest with you.
I'd been haggling over this for two days when all I had to do was hit a button on the case to solve my problem.
Yeah. (told you that you'd laugh your butt off Pete)
When I said I'd powered it on, I'd hit the power supply button. But never the one on the case, which is hooked to the motherboard in the bottom right corner. I'll even show you where it is if you come over and want to look at the shiny blueness. But here I was panicing and wondering if I'd screwed up when it was something obvious I had missed.
I quickly go downstairs and power it on - not for too long, as I hadn't reinstalled the processor fan yet - and everything that was plugged in turned on.
With laughter and glee, I quickly get back to work and summon Dave back upstairs, confident that I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. Motherboard reinstalled with fan, everything plugged in quickly. I hook everything up, call Dave in, and hit the power supply button before the case one.
Except we never got to that, as a spark quickly emanated out of the power supply, accompanied by no power to the motherboard. I quickly shut it off, fearing the worst - a motherboard short, which meant I would have had to replace the motherboard, at minimum, if not more Luckily, a deliberate and thorough visible inspection of the board and case revealed that everything there was fine, but the power supply was shot, so I'd need a new one.
I diagnosed the issue as either not having a surge protector in the wall, or an incorrect installation of the motherboard or processor fan, both of which I fixed quickly, albeit too late to save a very good and serviceable power supply.
At that point, after supper, it was about 7:00, meaning memory express was closed. I bite my tongue and head over to Best Buy to get the only power supply they have that could power my unit. Yes, it's not of the highest quality, and overpriced for what it really does, but if there's on thing I'm not known for, it's patience.
I arrive back by 8:00, and quickly reintstall the motherboard, and reassemble everything. Before powering it on, Dave puts a surge protector in the wall, and I hit the power button on the back.
Well, no spark, and the motherboard has a green light. So then I hit the case button.
The lights and fans all came on, and the screen started displaying the ASUS logo.
It took me well into the morning to intall Vista, every driver I needed for the new and old equipment, and WoW and Red Alert 3 (priorities!), but at 1:30 I had a fully functional and working PC. It took longer then it should have, but not without benefit - I'm much more comfortable inside a computer case then I was before it, and if nothing else, another point in favor of never giving up.
I'd like to end this with mad props to Pete, who suggested most of the build (mobo, case, fan, and processor type although I ended up going a little higher in speed), and to my brother Dave who doggedly stuck with me through the whole process, providing inspiration and ideas when I had none, a very helpful second hand, and photos. Thanks guys, you rock.
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| I assure you, this is in no way meant to compete with David's recent live blog entry (as it would end the same as Aunt Jemima's waffles competing with Eggos back in the day. Which one is still around? Exactly) . It is more a thought I had on Saturday that I delayed by two days to ensure it was not a fit of lunacy on my part to want to write this, and so that it came out coherent for the general public with me not in a sleep deprived state.
We start our adventure on Saturday, November the 21st. All events occured in real time and may or may not include flashbacks.
And you might want to grab a coffee.
Saturday, November 21
1:00 AM
Dave and I had just come of an evening spent with Micky playing games, with me not winning any of them solo. At this point, since I had to be up in 5 hours for work anyways (and it being very likely I'd stay up for at least one more wasting time on the PC), I came up with the brilliant idea of staying up, going to work, and then sleeping for close to 6 hours before I had to go back in.
With the idea in hand, I loaded up pokerstars to play in a few online tournaments. (For any of you who do not play World of Warcraft, you may skip the next paragraph)
This might have seemed like a good time to level up my main character on WoW, who is currently plateaued at level 73. However, I'm not a great late-night leveling player, which likely seems bizarre to some of you since leveling is more interesting to many then doing stuff at the level cap, but I seem to be the opposite. Unless I happen to catch a friend or two online who were at roughly the same spot as me (and even if I did), I probably wouldn't be able to go more then an hour or two before getting distracted and not being effective. My being semi-fatigued would not have helped matters along any.
Predictably, I did not place in any of the tournaments, making mistakes that I wouldn't have made if I wasn't just killing time. But there is only so entertainment youtube can provide for someone just killing time, and I needed something semi-engaging.
5 AM came, and I ate some breakfast and headed to work.
*****
It always seems like I made things harder on myself then I need to.
I often reflect on how many times I've said "this will be the last time I do something this stupid", and then do it again very shortly after. How often can I say those words before they become meaningless? More to the point, what adjustments do I need to make before they aren't.
Another example of this would show itself this weekend.
5:50 AM
It was roughly around when I got on to Deerfoot Trail when I realized this might not have been such a good idea.
The roads weren't icey, and there was no wind, yet I seemed to be swerving. Not the 'drunk idiot' type swerving but just enough to make me wonder how much in control of my faculties I really was. I was then thankful that I only had a couple of small things to do before I headed back home.
Hey, I remembered to yield to someone coming onto 32nd avenue. Maybe I'm okay after all.
It's the little things that make my job, really. Big shows with more equipment and more to do is definitely more fun for me, but in order to gain the trust of the customer (and the hosting hotel), you have to do the little things first. Setting up power and a screen doesn't make us much money, but it'll lead to more eventually - they'll want a projector, and then when they have bigger events they'll tap you on the shoulder and say "hey, you've done well for us so far, now can you do this?..."
I had even debated whether I needed to go in. It was two small, small things that would only take me 20 minutes total. Very often the hotel will even just move our stuff out of the way or set up small things themselves if they think we aren't coming. Still, I decided to go.
As it turns out, I made the right call in more ways then one. I took down some draping, and then set up a mic cord (it's very easy to plug in a cord, but very few non-sound people know how to do it right, to say nothing of actually taking it out). I looked in on another room that we had equipment set in, and then wearily headed home.
*****
The recent CnC discussion group had me thinking a lot about certain past events. The focus of the study is finding our identities, and a lot of what defines us is probably based on small, simple events.
One thing that happend to me that's come to mind a lot over the years is an exchange that happened at a Christmas eve service. I was, as usual, helping out with sound or powerpoint (I can't remember which), and I think the service had finished, and I was helping tear down. The specifics might be off, but it's not the background information that's important.
One of the worship team members (who is no longer at Bonavista) came up to me and thanked me for my help, with an idle remark "you're always such a gentleman..."
I nodded in acceptance of the compliment, but for some reason, it really bothered me that she'd said that. Which was weird, because I know I've been called that before and since, and it's never once irked me like it did then.
Even immediately after, I immediately went into quiet analysis as to why I didn't like the comment.
Why'd she say that? Is it really because she thinks I'm nice, or because I just don't say no? Would these people still think so much of me if I stopped helping? Who would I be to them if I was just another face in the congregation, enjoying the service, but not directly helping the church?
Do they mean it when they say it? Or do they just want me to keep helping?
More to the point, how often do I say things that aren't sincere, but merely means to my own ends? Do we think about what we say?
It's an intriguing of thought at something that was probably an innocent remark.
3:00 PM
With my alarm having gone off, and after a quick shower and food, I headed back to my hotel.
I work primarily at the Sheraton Cavalier, although I'm responsible for the Delta Airport and occasionally help out at other hotels. This weekend, my focus was on the Cav, as the Airport understandably does much less on the weekends and I'd already set everything for Monday.
There was an event getting out of one of the ballrooms at 4:00 with a wedding reception starting at around 6, so the hotel had to reset everything quickly; my part of it would be moving one of our large screens and audio equipment out of the room. While I was waiting for the room to break, I chatted with one of the Banquets staff (another WoW player who comes to me often in misguided forays for advice, as he's never hit max level before) and commented that I'd stayed up all night, and joked that I'd never do it again before a workday. Little did I know then....
The event broke, and I got my equipment out and stored into a nearby room, since I'd have to reset everything back in there before 7:00 AM tomorrow morning. I went back to our office in the hotel and worked on some paperwork, looking at the week ahead (and giggling that there was much more going on the two days I wasn't in). By the time I'd done that, it was around 6:00 PM, and I had a decision to make.
I'll take a moment here to admit I probably made a mistake not going to church. Even if I was going to bail on the CnC event to rest up for tomorrow, the fact was I don't want this to become a habit. So friends, I'd ask you to help me make sure it doesn't. I'm often privately hard on people who don't make it out all of the time and it's hyprocritical of me to do so when I miss things myself.
Still, I figured I could go home, get some food in me, and take an early night to rest up and be ready in the morning. So I did.
When I got home, I didn't feel like cooking, so in one of the two things that happened this weekend that I considered good (at least, to me only), I ordered a large pizza from Pizza Hut, justifying the cost in that I would likely get 3 meals out of it.
Pizza arrived, I ate two slices (yeah, I know, I don't know why either) and after some TV, I retired to bed around 9:30 PM or so.
10:45 PM
Sleep still hadn't come, and for whatever reason it was only now I was feeling more hungry. So I microwaved 3 more slices of pizza (reasoning that not sleeping due to digesting would be shorter then not sleeping due to being hungry), and then tried to sleep again after eating them.
Sunday, November 22
1:30 AM
Still nothing, and now I'm beginning to worry. I feel physically fine, and my mind's not on anything in particular, yet sleep refused to come.
By about 2, I scowl, throw the sheets off, and resign myself to another sleepless night, knowing I had a long day ahead, but not feeling like it's worth the trouble if I'm going to be up in 3 hours.
Pokerstars was kinder to me then it was the previous night, as I win one 9 man tournament (to be fair, I did have to suck out once in heads up, 9s7s > 7h 7d, but I hadn't made a mistake until that one) and do well enough in the other (6th out of 18, although only 4 cashed) to think that this might work.
I'm no fool though, and I know eventually I'll start feeling it.
5:30 AM
Knowing I'd need every little advantage, I shower again this morning even though technically I'd showered only 15 hours ago, but it'd help get me more aware and focused, and showers do that for me. I also forgo the last 3 slices of pizza for yogurt, trying to stay light and not wanting to feel loaded and groggy. I also procure 2 cans of coke from the downstairs fridge, knowing at some point I'd need them to stay up. They're cold against my hands as I head out to my vehicle, but I still take a moment to enjoy the solitude of the early morning. The sky and the empty roads are welcome sights for me.
It's a shame I don't have time to enjoy it, as I'll have a client needing a room set by 7.
8:00 AM
You know, he actually asked me to do a sound check with him at 8, but I really don't think I need to.
To give some backround on this, I had set the event initially on Friday afternoon. This had been a particularly busy afternoon for me, and my supervisor had offered to stay and help.
I told him I'd be fine, and I was, except I forgot to account for the fact that everyone wants everything done at once. We had 5 rooms needing to be flipped within a two hour timeframe, and equipment in every one of them. I got it done, but I was definitely inside the 2 minute warning, to use a football term.
Most of my time was spent in this ballroom, with this client, figuring out his sound. I had to set his DI Boxes differently for the two PCs they had wiring in sound, which was fine, but for whatever reason, we had one channel giving a bit of static in one half of the room and nothing else. While I was absolutely flabbergasted as to how that could happen (again: only one channel causing interference in HALF OF THE ROOM), I took out some of the mid frequency range and it quieted it down to almost indiscernable from background noise, which I could live with.
So the levels were fine, his mic had fresh batteries, and I hadn't changed anything from his initial setup, yet he wanted to 'check the PCs' at 8:00. Screw that. I'll be at the hotel if anything goes wrong, but even I have my limits for what I'll do without charging them for it.
*****
Excuses are common place for everyone these days. "Oh, it was this, that, el nino, blah blah blah." If it's not entirely clear, I'm not a fan of excuses.
I had 5 days off in October, and I probably wasted them (save the Saturday night spent watching the two greatest movies ever). I had been considering a drive out to Banff to see the scenery and get away from things, but if absolutely nothing else, I was going to take a walk to one of the many nearby parks and try to...well, commune with God, so to speak. I didn't, and I was ashamed that I'd missed my 'chance', when it came to me at work one day, "why do you need time off to do this? You could do it anytime."
As I thought of a response to that, it occured to me that too often I do wait for the perfect time to do anything. Need time off to think about things, a certain amount of people to play poker, or for the stars to align before I ask someone to do something for me.
Hogwash. There's never going to be a perfect time, and I think me being naturally hesitative and reluctant probably comes from a lack of a sense of urgency, and not knowing what drives me.
More on that later, though.
11:00 AM
After a one hour catnap (hey! if I move the chair down I can put my head on the desk), I get to work starting to set the rooms prior to us doing the lighting. I have two people coming in to help with that, as even after close to a year at sharp's, ligthing does not come naturally to me. Suffice to say, after that day, I'm suitably embarassed that I didn't know how to do it.
However, we quickly run into problems. The case is opened, and we're missing 4 lights that we need.
My supervisor looks at me and asks me to go to head office to grab some, but I'm already halfway to the door. Thankfully, we're still only about 5 minutes away from it (a state of affairs soon to change, sadly).
I get there, and obviously, there aren't enough of the lights we need, so I have to grab whatever I can. I get a call while I'm there telling me I need to pick up a "dimmer pack" as well, since the lights we have now are from another company, and we can't put our lights into their dimmer pack.
With some scrounging, I find one, and head back to the hotel, and quickly find out we need a dimmer control console as well, for the same reason. I sigh, head back to the office, and obviously I can't find one. After a quick call to my supervisor, he tells me to bring some light gels which we'll use to dim the lights naturally instead of controlling them.
I won't go into further details since you're probably bored to tears already, but I had to make at least one more trip back.
2:30 PM
The third guy is gone, and it's just me and my supervisor in our office. He bemoans the fact that it's hard to explain things to fashion people (no, you can't have 2 mics when we only have one available), and then apologize for the light screwup. It wasn't his fault someone misread the order, so I shrug it off and ask him in my low key yet still serious manner to make sure this doesn't happen again. I don't particularly enjoy playing delivery boy when it's not in my job description.
He tells me the fashion show is ending at 4ish, and that we can take down the lights then - the other guy will be coming back to help, which I'm grateful for, but I also hadn't anticipated needing to strike it. I nod in weary acceptance, my thoughts of making the last 3 quarters of the Grey Cup going down in flames. After telling me to strike what I could in the other rooms, he heads off. He's a great guy, and he didn't even have to come in today, so I'm definitely not angry at him. Just at the situation.
Time for another catnap. My day's not over yet.
*****
Here's the real question of the day: what drives me? The cliche answer is doing God's will, but it's not really a complete one, because in order to be a true one, we have be confident in what His will is. I know I'm not at my job to work, not at Scotia, and even at Sharps, no matter where it takes me. But this question addresses life, not work. Who am I living for?
Again, cliche answers. But the answers need to mean something. It's not a question of faith - I know who I am and what I believe. But it's time I acted on it.
4:00 PM
The show is still going, but I'm not at the hotel anymore. I'm at head office watching two other guys grab gear. Sharps seems to have a waiting period before people get keys and codes to get into Head Office. This is perfectly understandable given the amount and expense of the equipment we have, and I'm pretty sure I went 4 months before I got either of those.
It does me no good, however, waiting for these two people to get their stuff and head out. It's not a lot, but us being as organized as we are, it took them a bit of time to get it. As we leave, one of the guys shouts to me that I'll need to let them back in to return the van.
I laughed, thinking it was a joke, and threatened to can him if he called me.
He then says they'll be 7:30 at the latest. I simply nod and head back into my car. I still had more to do at the Sheraton but as long as I'm going to be there until 7:00, I might as well do what I can.
At least now I can return the lights we used.
7:25 PM
I'd paint an interesting sight to people driving by, sitting in the front lobby of the Sharp's office reading the office newsletter, with the door nearest to me locked to the outside. I've read it before, but I know if I don't do something I'm probably going to collapse in this very comfy couch. It's one of the very old ones that no respectable person would use in their main sitting area but still likely finds home in basements and in bachelor homes as the couch everyone loves to sit in.
I'd heard the score of the Grey Cup on the radio, 22-14 Stamps, with one minute left. So much for the Grey Cup. I'd also pulled a muscle moving a 10 foot screen, so I said 'screw it, I'm leaving it for tomorrow's guys', which pretty fell right into how my day was going.
I'm still startled (partially sleeping) when my phone rings, with my coworker, saying he'll be by with the van shortly. I tell him I'm ready when they are, when I hear another voice in the background, before the last reply.
"Oh, don't worry about it now. We'll just return the keys in the morning."
Well then.
I don't remember what I said in response, but I do remember setting the alarm, getting the lights, and being out of the office in record time after that. At least I still got paid for it.
8:00 PM
In a rare occurence of me being right about something, I arrive home at about the time I told Dave I'd be home at (8:00). After moving snow tires to my car to have them installed on my days off, I change and collapse onto the love seat.
Whether aware of my state or not , I talked with Dad about their trip and the week I'd had, although I didn't go into as much detail about my day as I did here. The conversation keeps me up, and soon after it tapered off I found myself dozing.
At about five to 9, Dad clicks off the television to go to bed, and I wearily do the same. I don't even bother to change, I just collapse into bed, begging off Dave's attempt to get me to stay up and watch 24: Redemption. At that point, I'd been up for 52 of the last 60 hours so even Jack Bauer couldn't help me stay up.
I think now my snub will make sense to Dave, anyways. If nothing else I've accomplished that.
*****
Living for Him doesn't mean we have to spend every moment helping the homeless, doing our jobs, giving a helping hand. Neither does it mean we're free to do what we please (as Matt Magnus reminded us several weeks ago, grace isn't for that).
It's the intent. Why do we do things? Obviously I can't pinpoint the reason for every thing I do, but I have come down with one overriding theme to start with.
I seem to want to stay guarded from other people, saying yes to requests so I don't have to say no and explain why, very often stay quiet during conversation since I don't want to talk about my day (I do find other people's stories more interesting; I just forget that the reverse might also be true), and don't always show people I appreciate them enough. My actions need to live up to what I think, because it is what we do that defines us.
So here's an attempt to dispell that particular motivation. There's no need for me to go totally emo on you, but let's try to leave guarded for the next trash pickup and see how we do.
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| Congratulations to Ryan and Trisha Kurbis!
To continue in a proud tradition started last year by this former member of the Bachelor Brotherhood, I will attempt to retell some of the events that took place of the day prior and of the wedding. For reasoning that will be explained at the end, I will not attempt to retell the events of the day after.
My participation in this wonderous chain of events started last week, and I will pick up this story around 1:30 on Friday, November the 9th, when Ryan picked me up at my home, as I would be helping them decorate and prepare the church. He then told me of the several places he and Trisha had been already (which, if my memory is right, included but was not limited to breakfast at Denny's with their grandparents, a visit to Trisha's work, and a stop at the University to pick up Coralee, who was also with us), and of where we'd be headed. We stopped to drop something off at the hotel the reception would be at, and then made a quick stop at Tip Top in Southcentre to pick up my and Dave's tuxedos. For some reason, Ryan and Mike were able to take their tuxes out early but not us. Clearly we're not trusthworthy folk.
After that, we got to the church, and after seeing nobody from our posse in the parking lot, Ryan declared "There's time for crazy bread!" and pulled out at lightning speed to make a pit stop at Little Caesar's. We then proceeded to clear the stage, foyer, and other various areas for the ceremony that was to ensue. Many family members began arriving as the afternoon moved on, as well as and Dave and Mike. At 5:00, in what I understand is a bit of a break from tradition, we went out for food before the rehearsal, at Pizza Hut in Deer Run.
The rehearsal went off with the usual miscues and such (which I interpreted as a good sign for the real show the next day). We all went our separate ways to prepare for the day tomorrow.
Saturday November 10th
So the big day had arrived, and with the wedding at 11:00, Ryan had invited Mike, David and I to his place for waffles and Mario Kart. After the party indulged in both, we changed into our tuxedos and headed for BBC for what was supposed to be 10:00 (but in fine wedding tradition, was later then that). We got a fair amount of strange looks along the way as we had already decorated Ryan's car with the "Just Married" sign.
After some commiserating with the guests and recieving roughly fifty billion comments on my hair being short, we headed for the back room for the final countdown with Pastor Balnave. The general mood seemed to be fairly calm, and the best man did at least a half dozen ring checks.
Eventually, we got the cue from Dan Rutledge that it was time to make our grand entrance, and then led by Ryan, we entered in to make our contribution to the day. Everything went extremely well, and it was a blessing to be a part of this grand event. After scurrying off quickly for photos inside and outside of the church, we headed for the reception, where Dave handled his MC duties with aplomb, and many laughs were had at Ryan and Trisha's expense. After the reception, the wedding party did a quick slurpee run before the wedded couple was whisked away to the airport, and the groomsmen offloaded the wedding gifts at Ryan's apartment.
I know that wasn't much of a description, but truth be told I was somewhat introspective for most of the day. For most huge events, I'm watching it happen but I'm on the outside - a guest, a watcher, not really a part of what's going on. For a day, even in a tiny way, I got to be on the inside looking in, and it was a great privilege and a blessing for me to help a dear friend.
I know the day was yours, R&T, but thanks for letting me in on it.
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| Phase 1 is complete. Further phases to be completed shortly.
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| And now for another uninformed rambling from yours truly. What, you're the one reading it, don't blame me.
I'm near a point of complete and utter exhaustion due to the events of the past few days. I don't regret any of them for a second, least of all hosting the latter half of a party for one honored individual a few hours ago. For all of my unjustified cracks about his age, the fact is I wish I had half the wisdom he had.
I started school this week; and the exhaustion has come from my sleep schedule refusing to adjust. The night before my first class, I only got one hour of sleep (which I'm attributing to something I ate not settling well), leading to an afternoon nap and another shortened sleep period before my second class. Both of them have gone well so far, with the teacher keeping the pressure on the students, which I'm welcoming giving the laid-back atmosphere when I went to the University of Calgary.
Also, any teacher I can trade verbal barbs with has to be good.
Him: What do you think the answer is?
Me (after pausing to think about it): I don't know. I'm not the smartest person in the room.
Him: Yeah, but you were thinking it.
Him: So, any questions about how this place makes me go crazy? (after talking about his work)
Me: "Go" crazy?
Good times. I think I'm really going to enjoy it, if the first two days are any indication.
The class is small enough that I've settled back into my casual role quickly; I do take it very seriously but at the end of the day I can keep my perspective. It's not the end of the world if I can't answer a snap question, or don't know anything. It took me a long time to do that at my previous job.
All of this has left me pondering my past at the University of Calgary, and the degree I now hold. Is it now useless? I'd be lying if the thought hadn't crossed my mind at some points, especially given I went there for five years to get a four year degree which now doesn't seem to be doing me any good.
On the other hand, when I give the matter more thought, I know there are lots of things (researching, critical thinking, improvising when things don't go to plan) that I wouldn't be nearly as good at had I not spent my time there. My degree in political science, and my time spent at school helped shape me into who I am today, for better or worse. We can't refuse to accept certain parts of us just because we don't like them.
Indeed, as I've mentioned before, everything God has planned for us, and had happen to us, has a purpose, even if we can't divine it yet. Remembering that helps me draw strength from every aspect of my past, especially the parts I'm not proud of.
Life won't always make sense but I think I'm beginning to see how I fit into things now. I just wish it hadn't taken me three months to get there.
NINJA EDIT: Oh, and I purchased a cell phone, too. With luck I'll even remember to give the number to some of you.
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